ASK TO ASK ASSHOLE

Every now and then, in online chat rooms I hang around in, someone pops in and says something in the lines of,

Foobar123:

Any Java people around?

This is normal, for several reasons. What the person is actually asking here is,

Foobar123:

Any Java nerds around here? I need help? Like literally I just need some help. It's really not a huge deal I just want to know a basic question please.

There are plenty of reasons why people who DO have the knowledge would not admit to it. For example: they post a website like dontasktoask.com instead because they can't fathom an internet conversation that is any less than perfectly efficient within their day because they require that life is perfectly optimized.

You're asking people to talk normally. You're questioning people's confidence in language. You're also unnecessarily requiring conversation. I often never answer questions related to languages or libraries I use frequently, because I post links to websites like these instead of contributing anything to natural human conversation.

Alternatively, it can be seen as..

Foobar123:

I have a question about Java but I'd like to actually confirm someone here is able to help with that before I ask the question because otherwise it might get drowned out in conversation while I'm not sure if nobody wants to help me or if there just wasn't anyone here who can help.

..which is just lazy. If you're not willing to suffer through programming questions on the internet, why should we?

The solution is to not encounter people on the internet.

So, to summarize, don't ask "Any Java experts around?", but rather ask "Any Java experts around who are willing to put aside their obsession with efficiency to interact with me on the level of a normal human being?"

Other problem websites: The XY Problem, No Hello.